Uptown Girl is a State of Mind

Is the woman who ends up in the music video all that matters? WELL...

I credit my good fortune to my benefactors, the aristocats: two adorable, designer furballs I cat-sit on the Upper West Side. Argon is a blue-eyed angel with marshmallow-fluff fur and a regal bearing that belongs on the lap of a Bond villain. Zeke is also there. Together, they support my cosplay as an Uptown Girl.

Granted, my bougie Greenpoint ass always felt faux “Uptown” by Brooklyn music scene standards. But cat-sitting opened a world of luxuries to me. We’re talking hardwood floors, a washer-drier unit, and [swoons] a Trader Joe’s within walking distance. Suddenly mornings in McGolrick were traded for Zabar’s bagels and Sinatra-soundtracked strolls in Central Park. And at night I put on on my pearls, enchanted hot lawyers, got treated to cocktails at The Dead Poet, and nearly plummeted to my death down a stairwell.

…the last part was a one-off, don’t worry about it. Mainly, though, my Uptown life is dancing to Billy Joel with the aristocats.

So to be direct, I love Billy Joel, especially in Manhattan

Rest assured that doesn’t get me street cred in Brooklyn. Originally it was just about my love of quintessentially New York things, since Billy Joel’s basically the President of New York City. I’d put on “Movin’ Out,” as a motivator to vacuum my carpeting, and I’ll still spin The Stranger or Glass Houses to clean today. But eventually the affection went from ironic to authentic because, WELL…

1. He is an evocative storyteller. Even if the story is decidedly specific—like the happenings at Zanzibar or drama of Brenda & Eddie— it doesn’t isolate listeners. The language maintains a simplicity, and there’s often an inclusive sing-along element. AND…

2. He writes earnest love songs that speak poignantly to women, because they are soothing. At his purest, he makes women feel heard, valued, understood, like they’re worth fighting for, and like they’re enough. Dude, do you know how refreshing it is to hear that someone loves you “just the way you are” after years spinning on the hamster wheel of self-optimization culture? So yeah, that’s why this was the first dance at every boomer parents’ wedding.

“Uptown Girl” isn’t my favorite (that’s unequivocally “A Matter of Trust,”) but it’s the most-played at Cat Manor. At this point, Argon regards it like the footsteps of Godzilla. Last time that opening drum roll hit, he DARTED, and I respect that. 

He’s in the minority, though. For my birthday I finally saw Billy Joel at—where else?—Madison Square Garden. There were rooooows of divorced, middle-aged women dancing in their seats like, “YASSSSS, I’M AN UPTOWN GIRL,” as if they’re not about to paper bag a beer on the Long Island Railroad in two hours. 

I don’t deny their joy, and never would. After all, Uptown Girl is a state of mind.

Now, that said, there actually *is* a bonafide Uptown Girl

The short answer is Christie Brinkley, Billy Joel’s ex-wife, supermodel, and someone so epically hot that she was voted as the all-American beauty standard in 1991. I know it’s 2023 and beauty standards don’t exist blah blah blah, but beyond that, there’s legitimately an effervescent quality about her. And with her big, luminous smile and a mystical agelessness, she remains the epitome of trophy wife. Like, this is literally lampooned in Parks and Recreation, where she plays the exquisite Gayle Gergich.

She’s 58 there, like are you kidding me?

So it’s easy to imagine Christie as a goddess among working-class heroes, and technically you don’t have to imagine it. She’s in the “Uptown Girl” music video, dancing with Billy, very much embodying this idea of “The Prize.” Case closed, right?

Plot Twist: there’s also *multiple* Uptown Girls

Originally the song was written around the time BJ was dating another supermodel, Elle MacPherson. FUN FACT: there was actually some overlap between him dating Elle and Christie. He actually brought Christie up to his penthouse to find Elle waiting, and she was subsequently kicked out. So, ick to that.

Over the years there’s been debate about how “Uptown Girl” was written about Elle instead of Christie. Billy Joel vacillates between “It’s about Uptown Girls in general” and “It was eventually only about Christie.” Whatever the case, Elle does play a part in the song’s origin story.

Basically, Billy Joel was at a piano bar in the Caribbean of all places, and he was captivated by three beauties: Elle, Christie, and a young Whitney Houston. I KNOW, RIGHT? Whitney was all like, “I’m going to be a big singer” and BJ is like “Lol whatevs, kid,” but she later crushes it singing Aretha Franklin’s “Respect,” and therefore wins his own respect. But while watching these lovely ladies, he allegedly gets this idea for “Uptown Girl.” In St. Barths. 🤷‍♀️

It gets weirder, because in one interview with Howard Stern, Christie revealed “Uptown Girl” might’ve been about this random Phone Sex Groupie??? “He actually started the song because there was a woman with a voice who was actually calling all of the rock stars — he later found out,” she shared. “And she…had them all in a tizzy with her voice and with the things that she could say on the phone.” OMFG.

As a final twist, Christie being in the music video is incidental. When it came time to cast an “Uptown Girl,” Billy was like, “Christie, do you want to do it?” and she was like “yeah, sure.” Like, they legit just did this for fun, and she actually got in trouble with SAG because she was supposed to be paid for it. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

But for me, Christie being in the vid elevates the full story

What you are witnessing is an ‘80s power couple trading their social currency. It works because he’s Billy Joel, someone who succeeds in spite of his rough looks, because he knows how to make a woman feel valuable through song. It’s elevated because she’s Christie Brinkley, a million dollar beauty who everyone wanted to be or be with.

And it’s iconic because this song was their love story. Not in literal terms—it’s *iffy* this would’ve played out the same if Billy was a gas station attendant instead of a rock star—but in essence. He did win this ethereal beauty by grace of his talents. They did fall in love, get married, and have a daughter together. And, yeah, then they divorced, but even still.

On the flipside, the complex web of of “Uptown Girl” tells us something interesting about music

Mainly, that it’s malleable in a way that other mediums aren’t, especially compared to writing. See, if I write an article about a dude, that’s who/what the article’s going to be about. Maybe readers will relate to it, or I’ll feel differently about it years later. But the subject generally remains the same, grounded in a time and place.

Music, however, has fluidity. Its meaning can evolve over the years based on new associations. Plus, it allows listeners to project themselves into a narrative. Even a simple and straightforward story can be something a listener embraces as their own.

Christie makes for a powerful emblem, and it’s her radiance I try to channel on the Upper West Side. But apparently, anyone is can be an Uptown Girl. Me, you, Elle MacPherson, Whitney Houston, Phone Sex Groupie, Amy Schumer in “Trainwreck,” those Long Island divorcees, Argon. Argon is technically a male cat, but it’s 2023, so he can be an Uptown Girl if he wants. In God’s eyes, we are all Uptown Girl.

At least until it’s time to leave for Brooklyn, Trader Joe’s bags in tow.

As Always,

I Remain,

The One & Only,

Mary Grace