The Donnas Were the Y2K Teen Dream

I was an American Teenage Rock 'N' Roll Machine.

Ringtones occupy a very particular timespace, especially for a teen in the early aughts. Do you remember? Before we all went on perma-vibrate, we decided we wanted our Razr flip phones to sing to us. Because I always had to *identify* with my musical selections, my first ringtone was "Rock ‘N’ Roll Machine” by The Donnas. It said it all: I didn’t care about going to school or having friends, because I was a rock ‘n’ roll machine. FWIW, my phone was swiftly confiscated when it went off during Chem. 

But whatever. What teen soundtrack is complete without The Donnas?

At the turn-of-the-millenium vocalist Brett Anderson, guitarist Allison Robertson, bassist Maya Ford and drummer Torry Castellano were living the teen dream. They were besties who started a band in middle school, and were touring Japan by high school. Shut up. Can you imagine? But they were grounded about it, writing songs about being normal-ass Bad Girls of Suburbia. The average night with The Donnas involved chaos in convenience stores, boozing at basement parties, making out in cars, getting into fights with their crush’s girlfriend, and maaaaybe keying the car of an ex.

They came into the world at exactly the right time. Or at least my world.

The Donnas entered the mainstream with their 5th album Spend the Night, shortly before as I crossed into my own Rock ‘N’ Roll Adolescence™. I wasn’t boozing and cruising quite yet, but I did relate to being nebulously sexually frustrated, a definite theme of their songs. Sometimes it manifested in yearning after losers (I see you, Howie in “You Don’t Wanna Call”) or ferociously cornering their love interests by the slurpee machine. But The Donnas were, like, extremely vague about what would happen if they caught their prey. “Take It Off,” and then what? “Shake it off?” Really? Is that what happens?

Yet it felt very true to the horniness of 🎀girlhood🎀, especially for a teen of the 2000s. Not only were the Donnas cool and swaggering, but the understood the vibe of, “I know that I want to boink constantly, but since my primary form of sex education is Buffy and Spike fanfics, I am not entirely clear on the specifics.”

All to say, “Take It Off” was my go-to song in Guitar Hero, obviously I put my leg on the nearest coffee table amp Courtney Love-style while I played. But Spend the Night is only the zenith of the story, so let’s do some Donnas 101 real quick.